Monday, September 28, 2015

Why bother?

Zor, during the Super Moon.  The night of the lunar eclipse.  Warm, balmy temperatures.  No one around.  Peaceful, quiet.  Floating effortlessly in canal of clear sea water.  Little lights flickering in the distance.

There we were; just he and I.  Under the moonlight. No phones.  No friends.  Just talking about our future together.  Re-stating what we had talked about many times before.  Putting the logistics together.  Planning.  Planning when to tell our families.  When we would look for a home,  etc... Holding hands all the way home in the car. Love texts at home to say goodnight.  Making more plans to see each other the next day.

..... Yeah.... I saw him.

I was driving BFF's car when he pulled through the gas station.  I know the car.  I've driven it 100 times before.  His license plate number is burned into my head. He didn't stop to get gas.  I called him and asked him, jokingly, what he was doing and/or who was driving his car.  He laughed and said that I must be crazy; that he was in another part of town in his (male) friend's car, going somewhere with "him".  I know the guy, so I said, "Oh, say hi to Ahmed for me."  He didn't.  Usually he does if the person is sitting next to him. Whatever.

Ok fine, so I drove BFF home and picked up my car to go back to my  house.  Dorothy was with me when I saw him about 10 miles away - in his car - with another woman.  Well, I couldn't tell if she was actually a woman or an under-aged thang, but it was definitely female. Possibly a McChicken.  Maybe she was a young thing and could only see him after school or before 9pm.

I couldn't pull through traffic fast enough and he must have seen me because he made a quick U-turn. I managed to follow.

I called him and asked him to pull over.  I passed him to get a better look and I was directly in front of him.  He slowed to a crawl. I told him that I wanted to trust him, so if she was just a friend, pull over and let me meet her.  He made another quick, evasive U-turn and told me (emphatically) to "go home."  (Really?  Do I ever do what I'm "told" to do?)  He was digging himself in deep and trying to flip it on me, "Why are you following me?!  I hate that.  I don't want this relationship!" I said, 'Why?  Because I just caught you with another woman in your car?'  and so I knew he was a cornered rat and we weren't going to get anywhere with it.

God loves me because He always reveals things like this to me.  Ironically, I hadn't seen his car on the road in maybe 8 months.  He must be an amateur serseree because a professional would have taken her to someplace like Fahaheel; not 5 minutes from my house.

2015 sucks

Ok so here is my question:  If you are a serseree lying no-good so-and-so, why talk about marriage?  It's not necessary.  I'm not a 20 year old, wide-eyed gullible girl who cares about all that.  There is nothing to gain.  He even told his OTT religious mother about it (yes I know it because I know his sisters).  Why bring your family into it?  If  you are a player, spin on, playerman, spin.  (But hey - thank you because you just saved me a shitload of money!)

What was my reaction?   I laughed and shook my head.  I mean - what can you do?  Anybody who is that pathological is sick and it is a blessing that it happened as fast as it did.  I took my dog for a walk.  Sweat it out a little bit.  Ate some lemon cookies and went to sleep (like a baby).  Dorothy and BFF didn't sleep last night. They were worried about me.  I had a feeling that they would take it harder than me.

...  Probably because they know all the horrible, awful, disgraceful, mean things that have happened to me this year and are most likely wondering when I'm going to erupt.    I'm not there quite yet.  At the same time, I would prefer, Dear Universe, that you might give me a break sometime soon?  That would be really nice.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

I had plastic surgery (graphic post-surgery photo)

I've never had surgery.  Not that it freaks me out or anything, but never really thought about it.  So for my 29th (regrettably, again) birthday, my kind/generous/beautiful younger (ok now I'm ready to admit that - but only by 11 months) sister gifted me an upper blepharoplasty and a partial lower bleph.

Here is what they do YOUTUBE CLIP (not me).  The whole procedure took about an hour and a half.  I was asleep. I was all warm and cozy and sedated.  It was like getting a really good massage only coming out looking like a truck hit your face.

Sent the post-surgery pic to some friends via Whatsapp for shock appeal and they thought I was in a car accident.  Ya know.... friends, right?  If they think you have been in a car accident, mighten they try to contact your family and send flowers.  WTF?!

This is when I was all bruised and zombie looking.  Sexy, no?
(my eyes are closed here)

One of my male Kuwaiti friends said to me (after I sent him the gross "after surgery" photo), "Why would you do your eyes?  All I hear about in Kuwait is boobs, but and stomachs.  Why eyes?"  Well friends, I guess it depends what you want out of plastic surgery. I like my B&B.  My stomach I can usually Spanx it if I care to at all (or just stop eating carbs and sugar for like a month and then ... ok still wear Spanx maybe but maybe not.  (Refer to A, please)

When I look at someone, I look at their eyes, not their B&B or upper crotch area, but that's just me.

Is it a huge difference?  Not so that you would notice, but it does make you look less tired and more like "yourself" (or how "yourself" used to look maybe like 3,000 man hours, many meetings, and 100 business proposals/presentations ago).  I have noticed, however, that it is now apparent to myself that I am wearing eye shadow.  Previously, it was lost in there somewhere like a sharpei puppy's folds.

I can hear my sister now...


A) Because I just don't give a shit - at all - ever
2) Because maybe somebody out there is thinking of doing it too and they can axe me what happened.
C) refer to A

Anyhow, my eyes look really good now and I'm happy I did it.  It didn't hurt. I got to take oxy for 2 days and sleep without anybody bothering me.  People have told me that I look "different" but can't figure out why.  Maybe I should tell them I had butt implants and see if they look.  Ha!

I found a place to live

... and it only took 5 months.

Mishref.  It is pretty. There are trees and grass and people who are kind to dogs and even walk them around.  And they don't look at  you funny or stare at your butt.

Tomas Czerwinski at Kuwait 4 Rent found it for me. He's my hero.  He probably knows it by this point.  He seems like a shy young fellow so I can't tell.

This has been the Year of Disappointment.  I have had so many apartments fall through at the last minute.

Jambalaya boy, I hate you, seriously.  I understand why you don't want to leave, but I still hate you for it. JB showed me his apartment in a lovely little villa.  JB said he was going to move out soon and I could come see it, so I did.   It is older and has character.  I walked in and it felt like home.  Several days prior, I had taken Lovely Libra's advice and asked for Divine intervention.  After looking at several shithole apartments, I pulled the car over and requested that God help me find an apartment with 2 bedrooms, a yard for my dogs, a swimming pool and I didn't want to pay more than 500kd.  BFF was with me and interjected, "and a jacuzzi," so I added that too.  JB's place was all that.  I had some things to fix, but ohmydamn... perfect.  I was hooked and I started looking at paint samples and thinking about furniture placement.  Ok so JB gets to looking around in the local market and best I can tell, he's not liking what he's seeing either and decides not to move.

Anyhooser, after that came disappointment after disappointment.  I even left the farm so I had no where to keep even my furniture. Disappointed also in my farm friends, but totally different story.

I just arrived last Thursday from the States ('nother post).  We had to move out of BFF's home by Thursday morning because her family was scheduled in for a vacation at her place.

I have a friend who was looking for a place too, so we decided to share (I refuse to call her a room mate because we are both adults and I never thought I would be sharing again. I feel like one of the Golden Girls.  Preferably Blanche.)  She found a place. Sounded perfect.  I decided to take it sight-unseen.  Came back Thursday.  By Monday, was told of the 1100 kd deposit that everybody neglected to tell me about.  'Why you lookin' at me?  I'm not paying 1100 kd..... ' Anyhoo, looked at another shithole Monday night (if you can't read your customer, you are in the wrong business).  and looked at 2 nice places on Tuesday.

Sidebar:  Real estate people:  Read your customers well. Size them up.  Look at what they are wearing.  What kind of car they are driving.  Footwear.  You can probably determine what type of a place they are looking for.  I don't think I scream, 'Please sir, show me a shithole because I really would love to live there.'

Frost Real Estate and my friend, Marty, were very kind in helping me out. They had a few places.  The problem is that I'm incurring storage fees every month and I needed unfurnished,  Anyways, long-story-short, I took the second one that Tomas showed me in Mishref.   (Tomas' business partner is a man I've met a few times and that knows most of my friends.  Small world.)

Signed on it Wednesday morning and moved in that same night.  I still have to wait to get my furniture out of storage, but that's no big deal.  They also have to do some painting between now and Sunday, so I'll pick up my big dog on Sunday night.

The family will be reunited.

Let's just see if Mikey eats Dorothy's cat.  (That wasn't a metaphor, pervs.  I mean the girl I'm living with has a cat.)

Oh!  This morning (first morning in the new apartment) I woke up to hear a lawnmower.  I have been hearing that noise all summer in Virginia because either our lawn or the neighbors' is getting cut.  But wait... where am I and whaaaaaaaaat?  GRASS!  I live somewhere where there is grass and trees.

Orangutan Smuggled into Kuwait Repatriated

Finally!  I have something decent to post about.

I met a Kuwaiti someone over the summer who was trying to buy a chimp.  He didn't make it to friend level.  Anyone who would do that isn't worth my spit if they were on fire.  Most of the babies are taken from the lifeless bodies of their dead mothers; as poachers shoot the mothers so they can snatch the babies.  Effing sick.  (Think about THAT one next time you drive by the maternity hospital...)

Staff from Indonesian embassy and Kuwait Zoo bid farewell to the primate

The Embassy of the Republic of Indonesia in Kuwait in cooperation with the Kuwait Zoo has successfully and safely returned home the orangutan, that was illegally smuggled to Kuwait in July 2015, to Indonesia by Kuwait Airways KU415 on Sept 13 and landed in Jakarta on Sept 14 at 15:50 local time. The repatriation of the orangutan is an implementation of the strong commitment both from Government of Indonesia and authorities in Kuwait to preserve the endangered species as listed by CITES which, unfortunately, includes the orangutan.  (DG note:  WHY is that unfortunate?  It is GREAT.  GREAT that they are listing these animals and confiscating them!)

The Government of Indonesia will hold into account anyone involved in this illegal activity and bring the perpetrator to the court. There were two female orangutans of 1,5 years and 6 months respectively sent to Kuwait without proper documentation in July 2015. The baby orangutan will be taken care of in Kuwait in order to give it the ability of feeding by herself before being flown home

--- end ---

And WTF was Kuwait Airways doing allowing an endangered animal to be brought to Kuwait?  Oh wait... I just said "Kuwait Airways," didn't I?    Duuh moment.

Whoever did the busting in Kuwait:  I LOVE YOU!!!  Some of us have been waiting for this type of law enforcement for DECADES.  Good for you guys!