Monday, February 28, 2005

Zero to bitch in sixty seconds….

Why is it that I always get what I want, but in a phucked up way? Just wondering. Like the ‘78 Smokey and the Bandit Trans Am that I saw at the Providence Civic Center car show (I was 3). I went with my step-father and there it was – on a revolving platform with mirrors and lights. I had to possess one. . . and I did. It was 15 years later, but I got the exact car with the exact options. Phucked up. Every time I wish for a husband (which, believe me, is not often), I get some phucked up proposal from some absurd potential husband. Either that, or mutaa (temporary marriage). That’s messed up that you have to temporarily marry someone just to get them into bed. You know – you can ask for a dowry with that and it can be whatever you want. Imagine. Phucked up. Just some thoughts.

The weekend.

Wednesday: I figured we had a long weekend, so I could waste one night of partying and mayhem, so I watched TV in my PJ’s and then slept. I had a brief conversation with my (no longer) Future Husband and Father of My Children and we agreed to have dinner on Saturday night. Said he has been busy with his family and blah blah blah and so nice of me to understand. I don’t. My philosophy is this: if a man wants to be with you, he will go anywhere, do anything to be near you. Oh, this includes actually calling you to see how you’re doing. So far, NL-F-H-a-F-o-m-C isn’t doing such a hot job at that. (Reminding them of their duty to adore you as a Goddess doesn’t count, by the way. They gotta do it from the heart.)

Thursday, I went with MuslimArtist and a new friend from work, (let’s call her Brazil), and her husband to eat sushi at Sakura. We ended up driving around Dhajeej and going to Ikea looking for furniture places. I think they got sorted out. Then, MArtist and I went to a Latin dance party at the Hilton. It was (once again in my world) ugly fun night. Pick the ugliest, shortest, most embarrassing man in a room and within 5.4 minutes, he’ll be asking me to dance. This particular one was obviously a Kuwaiti policeman (haircut that looked like a helmet and belt midway between his groin and his chest). I guess it was obvious to everyone but him. He was sitting with some other mabaheth (internal police)-looking guys that were pretending to be “cool”. The look just didn’t work for them. Anyhow, ugly-short-police-dude did indeed ask me to dance (followed by all the other ladies at our table). He refused to speak to me in Arabic, saying that his father was Puerto Rican and his mother Kuwaiti – right, as if! His freaky Latin-lover break dance moves left me relatively speechless. Bedouin mabaheth freaky Latin-lover – NOT! Let’s talk about hailag couple now (I know you are gonna love this MArtist!): Why is it that at every buffet event there are people who 1) cut the line, or 2) eat directly from the chafing dishes, or 3) can’t wait to get back to their table to eat the food, so they stand in the middle of the buffet room eating off their plate? Hailag Couple had 1 and 3 covered. Hailag Man didn’t bother to remove his Bluetooth from his ear (which is worthy of an entire paragraph in itself). They cut right in front of about 10 of us who were waiting. I ran up, grabbed a prop (a plate) and said, “You know – the end of the line is back there.” Hailag woman replied, “Oh really? Thanks.” Then, they went directly to the hot foods and stood in the room eating. PIGSSSSSS! I hate buffets in Kuwait. Hate them, hate them, hate them. I especially hate buffets at weddings. For some reason, the women (I didn’t say ‘ladies’, did I?) seem to believe that it is okay to be rude and push other women out of the way (sometimes with elbows, sometimes with big butts) and to be as totally disgusting as they possibly can be. Do these people not eat at home? What is UP with that? I try to leave before the buffet because I get scared.

Anyhoo, several of the friends at our table had a good time. One of the girls from work (Petite) came. I wasn’t too sure about her when I met her at work, but she is just so cool and I like her a lot. Maybe I’m just too judgmental when I first meet people. I dunno.

Friday night, MuslimArtist and I met Petite and her friend, W, at La Piazza for dinner. It was great – except for the exceptionally loud table O’Egyptians and mini-Egyptians in ANOTHER ROOM of the restaurant. I was this close to shouting, “Shuuuuuuuut uuuuuuuup!!” but I had just met W and he already looked kinda scared. W is handsome and very nice and wouldn’t allow us to pay for dinner (now THAT’s a MAN, baby!). We ended up back at Petite’s apartment until 2 am drinking green tea till I could pee out of my ears.

Saturday morning, we (same characters) met up for breakfast at Johnny Rockets at Marina Crescent. Then, we went out on “our boat” (you know – the 1kd boat that runs from the dock next to Sultan Center restaurants next to the yachts club). We were alone on the boat (thank God – nobody to sit there and stare at us for ½ an hour). Then, we headed down to the Hilton to the Bluebird Café to sit outside and have coffee. We met up with L there, who fell in lust with W. I need to get her laid somehow. She is far too hormonal. (She doesn’t read my blog and even if she does, she acknowledges it – which is, of course, the right step towards fixing your problem.) So anyhoo, L met W at a party something like 6 years ago (she didn’t remember BTW) and all of a sudden, she “knows him”. Perhaps like I KNOW George Clooney because of my repeated dreams of him (but that's different because I know George in the Biblical sense).

At 8:00 Saturday night (about the same time when he was supposed to pick me up for our date), No-Longer-Future-Husband-and-Father-of-my-Children called. He didn't bother to call me Thursday OR Friday OR anytime during the day on Saturday. I didn't pick up. Sent him a message saying that he must not be that into me and I'd rather wait for someone who is (although NOT like Barbecue Boy). L advised me to send him him a message never to call me again. Nah. If he does call, I'll just mess with him for shyts and giggles.

So, after sitting on our butts (on wooden benches without cushions) for about 3+ hours, Petite and W split and MArtist and L and I headed down to the Gulf Road to be hailag in honor of Kuwait National Day/Liberation Day. We stopped and bought cans of foam. I already had flags. Thank God, I got my Discovery back (its still not fixed right), so we could foam people from out of the sunroof and didn’t have to worry if someone trashed the car. After about an hour (going for ½ a mile), I had to, once again, pee out of my ears (it was all that coffee), so we stopped at Maki, frontin for sushi (bathroom). 40kd of sushi later, we were back out on the road, foaming and getting foamed. Some little shyt cracked the US flag off my car (I thought he broke the window). Ok, I’m all into it when everybody is having a good time, but some of those boys were really really mean and threw cans at the car and tried to open doors and stuff. At about 11:00, there were no women to be seen on the road, so we got out of there and let the teenaged boys take over – and wow – did they ever!

Let me just say that I have NEVER seen a National/Liberation Day celebration in Kuwait like this one. I think that everybody was out to say – in your face – ‘we are free, let us finally celebrate.’ The horns kept honking until about 3 am. People were dancing in the streets. It was a circus. You go, youth of Kuwait.

I think that the height of the evening came when a boy parallel to us was dancing with his butt against an opened van window and didn’t expect a foreign woman to spray him. I got him good – right in the seat of the pants – and proceeded to laugh my azz off (well, not all of it).

Ok, last night – Sunday: Thank GOD my maid showed up early yesterday because everybody ended up at my place for movies and pizza. CineDude hasn’t been himself (I hope you feel better, Dude. We miss you!) L was doing a little dance for W (many people have to pay for that in New York City) and snuggled up to him all night. Me and MArtist were practicallypuking. Blaaaaaah. MArtist left early after mucho eye-rolling (I’m with you, girlfriend). Everybody left shortly after her and apparently, all the action took place in the elevator and downstairs (damn! I missed it!). Petite was mad at W. W was mad at Petite and L. L decided that she didn’t like W (damn girl – that’s a LOT of wasted effort!) because of the way he was talking to/trying to control Petite. Mohammed was trying to keep everybody calm. W was talking trash about Desert Dog (phuck THAT!), “You know I don’t like dogs blah blah blah. Why did you bring me here? Blah blah hachie hachie…” Apparently, Petite just wanted to hang with the girls and leave W out of the picture, but he tagged along because he’s INTO her (she’s apparently NOT). If you saw Petite, you would know why – she is totally Tinkerbell.

Bunny was "busy" all weekend. Bummer, but nothing unusual for him. I am used to that by now. 3 years and I should know him by now.

I asked for a cool group of new friends. (Please refer to paragraph 1 at the beginning of this post.) Everyone has their pros and cons. (As for me - I'm zero to bitch in sixty seconds.) All in all, it was a great 4-day weekend and I had fun. Now, there are only 3 work days till another weekend!

Monday, February 21, 2005

On Cats and Other Stuff

I have a friend who stays at home playing with her big, fat, furry pussy all the time, rather than socializing with her friends. She can’t stop playing with it – and it is a nasty, smelly one. I am, of course, referring to her cat, Paddy. And my friend – antisocial-formerly-very-social (as in “dances on tabletops”) beloved Irish friend who I cannot get to leave her apartment. It is pathetic. What is it about cat women? Once you get a cat, do you never leave home? I’m just wondering. Dog people have to walk them, so you occasionally actually have to run into people. I miss my socialite buddy. Ya know, acknowledging that you HAVE a problem is the first step in solving the problem. Leave that pussy alone and let’s go have fun, girl!

I am allergic to cats. I wish I wasn’t because then I could go to visit some of my favorite friends. Sadly, I get disgustingly sick whenever I spend too much time around cats: red hives that pop up from my neck to my forehead; swollen eyes; uncontrollable runny nose. It really is gross. Just thought I’d share.

I want to lease an Envoy. Does anybody have a good contact person for me in Kuwait? I refuse to deal with Kuwait Finance (I have some other choice “F” words to insert here, but I won’t) House. Write to me at I want a badasscar that I can trash for a year and get away with it.

Future-Husband-and-Father-of-My-Children disappeared for a few days. He called me last night, but I was watching TV or doing the dishes or playing with my toenails or something and I just couldn’t get the phone. Sometimes, ya just gotta play their game. “I’m too busy.”

Segway from playing with toenails: I MUST have sushi. I MUST, I MUST. I will surely perish without it in the next few days. (MArtist – Crowne Plaza run?)

I loved Don’s blog about being more courteous to people on the street because they might be blogger friends. I have been bad for the past few days. I read someone else’s blog and I lowered myself to making some pretty bad comments on it and I shouldn’t have. It was a crime of passion. I should be kinder. I should just remember that it is like the television when either Bush or Rumsfeld pisses me off to the point when I am shouting at the TV and worrying my neighbors: You can just turn it off. Don’t look at it. ….Everything is a learning experience.

OH! The Sultan Center (Dis)Advantage Card… Why is it that every time you go into the Sultan Center, the cashier is asking you if you have a Sultan card? There is no advantage to it that I can see. I’ve been shopping there for close to 9 years and guess what – I never got anything from them. Nada. You know what would be nice – you whip out your Sultan Center (Dis)Advantage Card and then they say, “Desert Girl, you are our millionth visitor. You have just won a badasscar that you can drive 100 mph over speed bumps at your whim.” OR – “Desert Girl, you have just won a free bunch of bananas for shopping with us today. We’ll go get those for you.” Sheeeet – some kind of gesture would be nice. I get more advantage by going to the co-op and having the teethless Egyptian baggers smile at me and offer to carry my bags. Anyhoo, I have never seen the advantage of that card – even after the new TSC customer service guys just sent me 4 e-mails when my old card was stolen. Even those guys couldn’t explain the advantages. Ayman, are you READING THIS????

Another big family tried a hostile take-over of the Sultan Center last year. It could have become known as the “Khara Fi Center”. Ha ha.

I had a training course today where I was bored to tears, so of course – when I am bored, I am dangerous: I changed all the settings on the computer I was sitting at. Wonder who is going to sit there next… They have now got a screen saver with a marquee scroll (of interesting saying – not too naughty) set to come on every 2 minutes, and a peeling banana for a cursor. It is kind of like returning a rental car with the radio turned all the way up. Stuff you do when you are bored. Better than staying at home playing with your CAT.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

BMC-ing Desert-Girl Style

My friend, GF, reminded me today of something that I have wanted to bitch about on my blog: sales people with personal space issues. As in - sales people who follow you around the store, right on your heels, invading your personal space, and pretending that they are there to "help" you. I want to smack ALL of them. What I do is this: I wait until they are REALLY close behind me and then I pull a quick stop and turn at them like I am going to walk into them, and quickly walk around them going the other way. If they continue to follow me, I continue to do it. It is most unnerving - not only for the sales people, but for your friends who have gone shopping with you. I scared the bejezus out of my Irish girlfriend once - and then she burst out laughing.

Last night, I was in the Sultan Center in Salwa - which is WAY too small (Ayman, if you are out there, get on the ball, dude!) I have more on the subject of the Sultan Center, but later.... Anyhoo, there I was, standing in line with about a million other people at the 3 or 4 little counters. There was a Kuwaiti man behind me with 1 single, lonely carton of cigarettes. He had no where to go, so he cut in front of a Briddish woman and her friend - who proceeded to shout at him, embarrass him, and giggle at him like high school girls. Then, the Briddish-Colonialist-Imperialist woman turns to her friend and says (very loudly), "Oh, this is nothing, you should have seen them in Africa - they just push you out of the way!" She didn't hear me when I said, "Why don't you take the time to learn something about this culture?" (Meanwhile, I flung death rays at her from out of my eyes.) She totally embarrassed the guy in front of all the shoppers. (Too bad it couldn't have happened at a jamiya in someplace like Ferdous.) Now, I know he shouldn't have cut the line without saying something, but that really was not called for.

At the same time, a 4-5 year old kid sat in a cart, screaming its lungs out and the nanny and mother seemed to think it was very cute (they were foreign too, but don't know from where). On my way out in my car, they walked past me with their cart (and kid still screaming), and I got up close and yelled as loud as I could, "SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUP!" tee hee.

PMS? Perhaps. Shut up. Where is my chocolate and pringles?

Ok, why is it that Sultan Center doesn't have my dog's favorite food - The One? Why can't they be consistent on their stocks? Don't they know that my dog gets terrible gas if she changes food? Why is it that Sultan Center parking lots are so small? Why can't they build multiple-story car garages or build OVER their existing stores? Aren't they making enough money to do that? At least they don't have sales people who follow you around like frowning puppies. No, but their maintenance people try to run you down with sweepers and you can't get out of their way fast enough. And why do TSC staff members constantly dive in front of you throughout the Salmiya store? Is it a game? Dodge-a-customer? Or bat-(with a sweeper)-and-dodge? They do have valet parking now, however. I shouldn't be too critical. Lazy girl benefits are always good.

Speed bumps/humps: Here is what my totally-funny friend, GF, says about them, "I call it this country's love affair with speed bumps, their obssessive compulsive behavior with speed bumps. We have to go over 6 or 7 before we even get out of our town and that is just a few blocks, YEAH !!and what is their inexplicable fear of turning left in this catbox??? " Well G, let me tell you - somebody is getting paid BIG TIME for all those speed bumps. There is some guy out there somewhere who is in the bump construction business and he is laughing his ass off at us. Why don't they put speed bumps in the emergency lanes? (Better yet, why don't they just use the obnoxious sales people?)

I was with a cab driver in DC once (funny Iranian guy), who used to honk his horn every time he went over a speed bump. When I asked him why, he told me that the rich people had a plan/conspiracy to keep people from speeding, but that it was damaging his car, so he honked in protest - no matter what time of the day or night.

The largest speed bumps that I have come across are the VERY large speed bumps recently erected (I meant to use that word) outside of a certain house along the Gulf Road between the intersection of 30/6th Ring road and the SAS....

Bowling For Soup - 1985 Lyrics

Without the kids, the mini-van, or the husband - this could be ME!


Debbie just hit the wall
she never had it all
one Prozac (Paxil in my case) a day
husbands a CPA
her dreams went out the door
when she turned twenty four
only been with one man
what happen to her plan’

She was gonna be an actress
she was gonna be a star
she was gonna shake her ass
on the hood of white snake’s car
her yellow SUV is now the enemy
looks at her average life
and nothing has been alright

since Bruce Springstein, Madonnaway before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV
her two kids in high school
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupiedwith 19, 19, 1985


She’s seen all the classics
she knows every line
Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink
even Saint Elmo’s Fire
she rocked out to wham
not a big Limp Bizkit fan
thought she’d get a hand
on a member of Duran Duran
Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin
and who’s the other guy that's singing in Van Halen
when did reality become T.V.

what ever happen to sitcoms, game shows
(on the radio was) Bruce Springstein, Madonna
way before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV
her two kids in high school
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupied
with 19, 19, 1985


She hates time make it stop

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Where have all the hotties gone?

This weekend, we finally got back out to the desert, after much drama from my friend, L, who finally just dissed the whole idea of going to Kabd and went to sleep. MuslimArtist, CineDude, Bunny, my dog (Desert Dog for anonymity purposes) and I went out to Bunny’s friend, Khalid’s, place. If I had told MArtist about Kabd’s somewhat-low-class reputation, she may not have wanted to go. (As my Arab-princess-girlfriends say, “Kabd! Ohmagawd! You didn’t go to Kabd, did you? Are you seeeeeeeeeeerious? Shinu haaatha, habibti? La! Aaaaysheeeey!")

I like Kabd (North) better than B’naider (South) because it is quieter and the sand is finer. B’naider has more of a circus/zoo atmosphere to me. There is a spot, North of the Ministry of Information radio tower, in Kabd where mostly Bedouin dudes fly and train falcons and it is one of my very favorite spots in all of Kuwait (not just because of the Bedouin dudes although they are very important). The terrain is different: there are hills and the sand dunes are fine. It is incredibly quiet there and very few camps because it is so far off the road. A few years back, I was driving my 4x up there and 3 salukis were keeping pace up to 45 kilos per hour; Totally awesome/beautiful dogs. They were loving it - smiling and tails wagging.

It is always nicer to go to the desert with people who haven’t been there before because you get to see it from another person’s eyes. It makes it all fresh again. It also looks MUCH prettier in the dark.

Anyhoo, after 3 years of knowing Bunny, I had never met his best friend, Khalid, who I have long-adored because he took such good care of Bunny while they were both up in Iraq as interpreters. Khalid and Bunny are best friends (teezain fi surwal or "two asses in one underwear" in Arabic). He cooked us mendi – which I love. Mendi is like khalua pig; you roast the meat in a coal pit covered with sand.

It was the first time in 3 years that Bunny had ever taken me to the desert. I’ve been nagging him for forever to go with me/take me, but this was the first opportunity I have ever had to spend some time under the stars with the Bedouin Bunny that he is. I loved to see how he was interacting with Khalid; he seemed so happy and content – which is a rarity because I usually see him annoyed by his mobile phone which is constantly ringing. Bunny is definitely in his element in the desert. He told me that his father used to make the most wonderful Arabic coffee and Bunny seems to have learned from the best. The coffee was awesome. So was the loomi (dried lime) and zaatar (thyme) tea. The only thing missing was camel milk. There was a camel at an adjacent camp that had just been born an hour before we arrived at the camp, but it was too dark to see it.

Desert Dog loves any opportunity to get out and run around in the desert. She gets a big dog-grin whenever she’s out there. She only likes good people and spent a lot of time trying to win Khalid over. She was totally sandy (changes color from white to yuck-yellow) and smelled like camp fire, but very happy when we got home.

I actually was able to drive my sports car into the desert: that is, after we almost broke the axle on an enormous, un-marked speed bump. F the speed bumps!!!!! At least paint them pink or put reflectors on them or something. Now my car is all out of alignment again. Thank God, nothing happened to the rims. Me and Bunny would have been up in Amghara searching through the scrap yard again. That would have really sucked big time.

Side note: I will leave you in the desert alone to die a horrible death, CineDude, if you ever want to leave early for a booty call again. Next time, you will be arranging your own booty-call transportation. There IS booty-call etiquette, you know. We saw right through you, dude, “I want to go home. I’m tired. I want to go to sleep.” BS!!! you’re from LA! We're all friends. Ya coulda just SAID you had to leave early for a booty call. We all understand. Plus, where did my damn tequila go? I had like 1 glass! I’m pissed and not in a British way. Any idea that a bottle goes for 40 kd? Yo. I’ll get over it. I will. Really. Eventually. I will. Sheeeeeeeeet.

Future-Husband-and-Father-of-my-Children has been busy all week with Muharram. They have a family hassania, so he’s been busy there doing stuff. I’m glad he’s so dedicated to religion and family. He’s going to make a great father for my kids. Funny that the Future-Mother-of-His-Kids is out romping in the desert, cavorting with men and drinking ONE frickin glass of tequila - while he's being devout. Go figure. Opposites attract (right?). tee hee.

(Lack-of-segway here): The construction dudes outside my building actually seem to be doing something –not just digging holes and filling them in as I had long-suspected. I saw them bring in some new pipes and replace the old nasty ones. Are those sewage pipes? Damn – if that is the case, then I really hope that they finish the job before the summer. Thank God – I live on the top floor, but still…. Ick, ew. Anyhow, they now have the entire neighborhood dug up and I feel like I am living in a slum. NOT a nice site to let visitors see. Let me just say that construction workers in this country are by far nicer than in the States. One of them actually said, "Good morning," to me today - and he wasn't even staring at my T or A.

(Yet another lack of cool segway here): My mom is going to have her hip replaced early next month. She sounds so worried on the phone. I really should go there to be with her. I wonder how that would go over at work. I feel terribly guilty being here, away from her. I’m her favorite daughter, after all. We are both writers and she has the same sick sense of humor. She’s going into a rehab facility after the operation for 10 days. Maybe I should go there to be with her when she gets home. What do you people think?

Yesterday, I hung out with MArtist and L and went to look for “eye candy”. We didn’t find any; only one guy who kept looking my way, who we dubbed, “Bowel Movement Man.” He had a look on his face like he was constipated and L and MArtist were suppressing giggles every time I made a noise like he might be passing something. He even walked like he was constipated. That is our fun. That is how pathetic it has become. We went to 3 places for coffee, hoping to see even 1 man who was remotely handsome. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Where have all the hotties gone? Can anyone tell me? Is there one place in Kuwait where they all converge? Where is it? Cause I haven’t been able to locate it. Believe me, I’ve tried…

Friday, February 18, 2005

Ode to the 80's

You grew up in the 80’s if…
1. You've ended a sentence with the word "SYKE".
2. You've watched "Fat Albert".
3. You can sing the rap to "Ladidadi"
4. You wore biker shorts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Rock Steady Crew and tried to start adance group of your own.
6. You owned a "Big Wheel".
7. You know that "Yeah Boyeee" comes from Flava Flav.
8. Two words: Double Dutch!!
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock".
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "The Facts of Life."
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. (Girls) You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was the FIRST and LAST day of school.
16.(Girls) You tied a knot in your shirt if you didn't have one of those clips that would hold your shirt on the side.
17. You played the games "That's My Car" and "Punch Buggie."
18. You wore a Michael Jackson jacket and you were proud.
19. Lotto's... need I say more?
20. You watched Captain Kangaroo and thought it was actually funny.
21. You remember reading "Golden Books."
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAXON, WAX OFF."
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You were or knew a boy who would jump rope if only ONE more player was needed (and it didn't mean he was gay)
25. You thought that blowing into the cartridge actually fixed the video game!
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You knew how to do "the smurf..." and "the smurfette."
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANN of snap EK's.
29. You remember saying "Not To Def" and "Funky Fresh" or "Fly."
30. You remember the first time you heard "I'm Bad."
31. Barbie and GI Joe were the shizz nick...
32. You were She Hulk, The Hulk, She-Ra or He-Man one Halloween.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets or had a secret shake.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes or Kung Foe slippers.
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?
36. You remember "I've fallen, and I can't get up " and "Where's the Beef?"
37. You remember when going to the skating rink was better than going to the club (skates off... time to dance... everybody in the middle of the rink!)
38. You ever got seriously injured riding on the handle bars or your sibling's, cousin, or friends bike.
39. You've smoked a bubblegum cigarette.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You know how to play "half-ball."
42. You remember Popples and Munchi-chi's.
43. "Don't worry, be happy."
44. You wore FOUR pairs of socks high top Reeboks. You wore socks scrunched down. Two for each color to match your skirt or top.
45. You know what comes before and after "I met a senorita with flowers inher hair... Oh Shake It Momma Shake It..."
46. You also know the rest of "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK... "
47. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
49. You knew how to fix an audio tape if it popped.
50. You still have tapes packed away and carefully coordinated in shoe boxes in your closet.
51. You watched "School House Rock" and the ABC after school specials.
52. You remember Alf.
53. You know the original members of "New Edition."
54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved by the Bell", the ORIGINAL class. This was way before Tiffini Amber Theissan had boobs and showed up on 90210.
55. You know all the words to Bonita Applebum.
56. You just sang those words to yourself.
57. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
58. You ironed creases in your Levi's straight legged jeans. (the crisper the better)
59. You remember when Jerri Curls were cool!
60. You had a Jerri Curl!
61. You're graduating class sang, "We are the World."
62. You secured playing cards to your bicycle tire's rim spoke to create the effect of a motorcycle.
63. You've died your hair with Kool-Aid.
64. You knew what it meant if you asked someone if the have a boy/girlfriend and they said "No, but I'm talking to someone."
65. You know who said "What you talkin' 'bout, Willis".
66. You know why "Girls... they... Girls they love.... Heavy D."
67. You had a TRAPPER KEEPER by Mead.
68. It was cool for you and your friends or Boyfriends and Girlfriends to dress like twins.
69. You know the words to "Glamorous Life." The one by Sheila E and Cool C!
70. You've ever attempted to Windmill or Beatbox.
71. Two-tone jeans - let's not go there.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Valentine's Day a Success

I had a happy VD. It was fun to be with friends and nobody chipped a tooth on the horrible plantains I made (sheet - I almost did and I didn't even have to be polite). They were GOOD fresh from the fryer- I SWEAR! Next time, I am not going to barbecue in sub-zero temperatures (it felt like it anyways). Microwave all the way! I'm actually thinkin seafood night with seafood stew, crabs (when in season), clams, etc.

Does anybody know where in Kuwait to buy a dough machine (to make bread dough)? I am going to bake anatomically-correct, 6'4" man. :) No actually (I don't have an oven that big), it is for a friend who I am SURE is going to bake me many many loaves once I finish the quest and secure a dough machine (right? right?). By the way, I like the kind of veggie bread that I used to get at the farmers market - baked with herbs and ... veggies. :) Just thought I would pass that along. The very best bread I ever had was when I took a bus trip up to Quebec in the winter (with about 4' of snow on the ground) and they stopped at a little cafe where they made fresh bread. They served us big chunks of it with honey on top. Yummmmmm.

BTW, GF - You started the whole UTC thing. Now I can't stop.

I pity my poor blog readers who actually take the time to write to me - and then I bombard with e-mails of my ramblings. The cool thing is that I'm making a lot of new friends (that I can call at 3 am when I'm feeling lonely and want to chat).

I was saddened by the bombing in Lebanon yesterday. Hariri did so much to help his own people. Can't we all just get along?

Did anyone see the Arab Times this morning? There is a big ad on the front page from the Ministry of Social Affairs (I can name a few) & Labor on "Women Role in Civilized Society"(how 'bout "Editor Role in Civilized Ministry?)".... to invite the laborers and interested in volunteer labour field..." to be addressed by Mrs. Cherie Blair. Now here's what I want to know - are they discussing Kuwait as a civilized socieity, other countries as civilized societies, or the UK? I guess I would have to go and see. If the Kuwaiti security forces are frisking attendees - I will DEFINITELY go just for shyts and giggles. The bigger question (as, of course, everyone in Kuwait needs to know) is: Will there be free food? Any gift bags?

I went to a conference about a year ago put together by a law firm (if I remember correctly it was Al Khebra) about opportunities in Iraq. There were several speakers and I thought it would be interesting and guess what - IT WAS!!! A fist fight broke out (2 middle-aged Kuwaiti men in gutara/aghal) in the back of the room during the Microsoft speaker's speach. It was poetic. The MS guy kept right on talking! I was laughing my ass off (everyone knows that's impossible, but whatever). The rest of the conference was blah blah blah, but I saw some of my friends and made a few more. I also saw that 2-faced short man from MTC and silently put an impotence spell on him (as if he doesn't aleady HAVE that problem!) Yeah yeah - I know, I've heard it all before, "He's a brilliant man and a wonderful speaker. A visionary...." He is still nethel.

By the way, for those who were unable to send flowers yesterday, I still have my chest infection, so here is your big opportunity...

International Foods Coffee Moment...

Ever get an e-mail that seems to come at the right time? I received this one back in December. Thought I'd share... (sharing is caring)

"Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.
Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold you head up because you have every right to.
Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it."

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day

This is my favorite poem and I try to live my life by it:

I shall pass this way but once;
any good, therefore, that I can do
or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer nor neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.

Jewaira reminded me of it today, so I thought I would post it - especially on Valentine's Day: an occasion to remember those we care about and to let them know that they are loved. Ultimately, every day should be that day, but these days, most people are so busy. This is one of my favorite days of the year (not only because I love red!).

Saudi Arabia has banned Valentine’s Day.
When my mother sent me to an all-girl school to keep me from being boy-crazy (didn’t work), I learned very quickly that anything forbidden becomes 100 times more enticing. For example, my dad told me never ever (“I forbid you…”) to date an Arab man. Need I say more?

Thanks so much for the comments on the Shamlan post. I really appreciate the little acts of kindness. We met when I was 15 ¾ and he was 19 (yes, it was almost innocent). He was driving up the street and I was walking down. Our eyes met for about 4 seconds and I know this sounds cliché, but I knew he was “the one”. Unfortunately, he never figured out that he was the one! I met him through a lot of detective work 2 months later (he had a very distinct/aka ugly car). He came to my family’s house and met me in front of EVERYBODY – even the Texan relatives. Anyways, I have spent the better part of my life loving someone who didn’t love me back and who eventually died before his time. Some may call it tragic infatuation. He was just different and special.

We are having a Pathetic Valentine’s Dinner at my place tonight. You know – a gathering of friends who can’t get dates on the special day. I don’t want to say we are LOSERS, so I won’t. We have just not bought into the commercial idealism of Valentine’s Day. (NOT) I love the commercialism of the day. I love all the boxes of candy and/or stuff; the teddy bears; the cards; the balloons. I love it all. In the States, I went out and bought (hopeful) Valentine’s lingerie (one day I will open a museum!).

I went out for coffee with my future-husband-and-father-of-my-children last night. (Happy sigh and lots of smiling.) We are in that phase where you talk and talk and talk and don’t get tired. FH&FoMC heard my dog barking while we were on the phone and actually said (before I told him about her), "Oh, you have a dog. What kind of a dog? I love dogs!" Yippeee! God was listening.

Bunny also came by and brought me some flowers and a pretty gift. Yes, I am still mad at him, but damn if it didn’t help! Perhaps that is shallow, but whatever.

I went to see Naz exhibit his work at Bayt Lothan last night. I love that place. It is full of creative people and creative energy. For those interested in bettering Kuwait, the Lothan Youth Achievements Center (LOYAC) is housed in Bayt Lothan. Website: It provides an opportunity for young Kuwaitis to get internships at local businesses before entering universities. Most often in Kuwait, students never have the opportunity to get work experience; instead they study until they earn their degrees and then work (which is a shame because they miss out on so much). The LOYAC students must also be involved in voluntary community service including work with the elderly or ill; traffic and AIDS awareness; and the arts. I think it is an amazing program.

Anyways, happy Valentine’s Day everybody and I hope that someone in your life tells you how much you mean to them today.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Awesome Long Weekend - Happy Hijrah New Year

Thank God – my weekend didn’t suck. On the contrary, it was great.

I got to hang out with MuslimArtist et al. MArtist is a bolt of energy and she wears me out. I get tired. I have to stop and rest. Perhaps it is my lingering chest infucktion. I don’t know. She is just a flurry of activity; a whirlwind.

Wednesday night I can’t remember what the hell I did. I think I stayed home.

Thursday morning, I went to look at a used Pajero because my damn Discovery needs a trani overhaul and I was thinking of just dumping it. The Pajero was a cute, black 2-door, but it needed too much work and the monthly payment was way too high for a used 2002. I was under the distinct impression that the Lebanese finance dudes were trying to rip me off. I turned up my nose at them. (I spit on your haircut!)

MArtist and I went to Sakura for sushi (yummmmmm) lunch with my discount card (50% off for 2 ppl – yippee again – so I can eat even more sushi). Then we went downstairs to the Fauchon café where they have the very best kick-ass hot chocolate in Kuwait. I saw a lot of my friends from work there who had been attending a course.

Thursday night, I went to my friend’s house in Salwa for his wife’s birthday party with a few mo'mericans and their friends. A Kuwaiti man (The Moose) that I have had a crush on for like forever was supposed to show up, but didn’t and I was most disappointed. (heavy sigh). We did some business together last year and then had a disagreement and we are both too stubborn to call. Why should I call first – I’m female??? Last year, he sent me 6 bouquets of roses at work. I'm wondering what tomorrow will bring. I LOVE VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Friday, we met up at Jeans Grill for lunch at Souq Sharq. I met my future-Husband-and-father-of-my-children, who was sitting at the next table with his brothers and uncles. I’m totally smitten and we have been talking on the phone ever since for hours at a time. I can’t get him out of my mind.

We met up with CineDude at Costa in Marina Crescent where we saw some biker dudes. Mediagirl thinks they are all The Don, so she keeps shouting, “Don! Don! Is that you?” which totally cracks me up. I have consistently referred her to mushtashfa majaneen to seek help. I think someday the REAL Chopper Dude will actually turn around and converse with her, at which point, she will have a heart attack and perish.

We ended up going to the airport (after much drama from a little local car rental agency, those little bastards) and picking up a 4-wheel-drive-uphill-in-reverse Camry from the airport (my other car only seats 2 comfortably). The service we received from Hertz was excellent by the way. They were so friendly and nice.

We headed to Pushyman’s party villa before driving down to a “barbecue” in the desert across from B’naider.

The barbecue turned into an all-night party which was awesome because I ran into a lot of friends that I haven’t seen in a really long time: Sulaiman, Bu Ali, Mishal, Dalal – the whole gang. I never see Sulaiman and Bu Ali out of the sea, so they didn’t recognize me right away with clothes on (I usually only have a bathing suit on at Kubbar)! I think that D (CineDude) and Mediagirl really had a good time. I kept looking over and they were smiling. CineDude immediately started dancing like a Kuwaiti - and very well - which was quite a nice surprise. Thank God, there were only a few hoochies there. This one girl had her g-string so far out of her pants and was so drunk that I was dying to run over and give her an even-worse wedgie. CineDude and MArtist seemed to have a really good time. MArtist met her soul mate (not) – some guy who wouldn’t leave her alone for the rest of the night but seemed to be “nice”. AB (see post of January 29) showed up – very late – and proceeded to give me the cold shoulder. Damn, but he’s good looking. It is a shame. All he wanted to do was talk business. How droll. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz BO-RING!!!! What a stud-dud. The camp had the BEST saj sandwiches and arayes in the whole world (doesn’t everything taste better in the desert?) It was a nice camp (excellent clean and pretty bathrooms!) and we had lots of fun. Unfortunately, Abdullah Ruwaished was singing at another camp and at about 1:00, everybody left to go there. We stayed. [I didn’t want to go because I thought Abdullah might remember me from his concert in DC when I threw my panties on stage (just kidding). I like my panties too much to throw them at any guy.]

On the way out, MArtist’s “soul mate” led us out to the road. He was drunk (I didn’t drink because I’m still on meds, but those Bacardi Breezers looked totally yummifying). We followed him (like sheep to the slaughter) into the wetlands where everybody always gets stuck. I tried to tell the guy that he was going the wrong way. We turned and got onto the highway. When we looked across, we saw a car like his going in circles in the desert and had a good laugh on his account. Poor guy – I think one of the hoochies stole his mobile phone. That’s what they do – steal mobile phones and then sell them. All the hoochies always have the latest mobile phones.

Saturday “morning” (12), we met up with yet more people (more Americans) at Biella at Marina Crescent for lunch. I like that restaurant – it is bright and sunny, overlooking the boats at the marina and the Gulf beyond - and reminds me of being back in the States. I only wish that I could have had a nice glass of red wine with my pizza. Anyhow, everyone had a great time and many laughs and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

You know, life here is really really good if you have good friends. I’m at the point in my life here that I can connect people and they can go on to establish and build friendships. That always makes me feel good; seeing other people so happy. Thank you, God, for such a happy weekend.

In Memory of Shamlan

I have to write about Shamlan because today is the day that I heard that he had passed away in Dubai.
  • Shamlan had the most soulful eyes I've ever seen. It was like he could see right into me and know me with a stare.
  • He had the best laugh I've ever heard; There was something humbling about it - I don't really know how to explain it, but his laugh was deep and rich.
  • He cared deeply about his family and often talked about his 2 younger sisters, "the monkeys"
  • He liked small sports cars.
  • He liked playing soccer with the guys.
  • He had deep political beliefs that were controversial and got him in trouble (may have gotten him killed).
  • He loved the sea and diving.
  • He liked jazz.
  • He liked Chivas Regal
  • I felt like I didn't have to say a word when I was around him.
  • He didn't love me as much as I loved him. I hope he knew how much he was loved.
  • I didn't get to spend enough time with him while he was on Earth. Now that he's gone, he talks to me through dreams. As he told me the night before I found out he was gone, "The days I spent with you were the happiest days of my life."

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Year of the Rooster

First, let me toast you all with a shot of tequila in celebration of the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Rooster (also known as "cock"). Yes, the Year of the Cock - and what a happy year to celebrate. For those who don't drink, let me say, go get yourself some cock.... tail juice. Yum -cock....tail juice and tequila. I'm celebrating. Jose Cuervo and cornflakes all the way, bay-bee. Maybe I'll go rub a Budda's belly for good luck. Maybe I'll just find some rice-fed fat boy and rub his belly and call it good luck. What are your thoughts?

Hey - what do you think of the men around here who look like they are pregnant with twins at 9 months? Do you think that is machboos in there?

I was born in the Year of the Snake. My Chinese horoscope for this year states:

Suave and sophisticated, you'll slip confidently into the year of the Rooster, knowing that good things lie ahead. In fact, after the occasional setback at the beginning, this soon starts shaping up as an extremely satisfying time in almost every respect -- with the possible exception of money. In the workplace, past efforts and experience are recognized, and you could even be lured away to pastures new -- just be patient and you'll get your reward, especially if you're willing to broaden your skills, expertise and knowledge.

As this is also a time of unexpected and costly outlays, avoid risky ventures and keep a careful eye on spending. In your personal life, devote time to your interests and enjoy your lively and harmonious domestic circumstances to the full. Although your social life may suffer, even involving a little animosity, the Rooster smiles on romance, and this could be an especially happy time if you're starting out in love.

So, with any luck, I'll fall in love and GET LAID as well as DRUNK!!!! although I probably won't have a lot of money. Ah yes, drunken sexual intercourse outside marriage. What could possibly be better? (No stupid comments please.)

If you want your Chinese Horoscope, write to me and I'll send it to you.

A friend at work gave me a gift yesterday. He's so adorable: I saw a toy 350Z on his desk and exclaimed, "I waaaant one!" and he gave it to me. Isn't that nice? It didn't work with his Piaget watch, but what the heck. :)

I still have this chest infection. I heard yesterday that a female high school student in Kuwait died of pneumonia and now I want to go check myself into the Mayo clinic and become Bubble Girl. Am I dying? For real? This hurts (and not in a good way). I also heard that this virus thing has spread from Saudi Arabia. More fun from our family to the South. Bio toxins. Greeeeaaaat.

My frickin Discovery has pulled a fast one on me - just when I thought I could do anything to it and it wouldn't die. I don't know what's wrong with The Beast - it got as far as the mechanic and then sputtered and conked-out. I knew it had a transmission problem, but this is something unique. Damn jinnis. I exorcised the jinnis out of the other car (by literally calling someone religious and having several people pray over it and fire up some bkhoor) and it seemed to have worked. Maybe the jinnis got out of the little car and jumped into the big one. I knew I shouldn't have parked them next to each other, damn it!

BTW - just a side note: My other car is called "The Bitch" because she F's me and takes all my money.

The nice thing is that out of tragedy comes (something good - can't remember the phrase): 3 very nice mechanics came out of nowhere and have offered to help. Ana maskeeeeena, can you help? (I say, innocently - as if I have no clue about cars.) Actually, this time, I have no clue what could be wrong; could be the fuel pump; could be the plugs... I just don't know. Those years of auto mechanics training in the States persuaded me of one main thing: I like my finger nails and I don't really want to get them greasy. The good thing is that I do know what the hell they are talking about and I can troubleshoot pretty well. I used to hang out in Shuwaikh a lot, getting my cars fixed, but I got tired of people staring at my (body parts). I think that there should be an auto mechanics course here for beginners. It would be easy to teach and a lot of people would probably be interested.

I don't like the scrap yard here. It is no fun. In the States, the scrap yards are full of full carcasses - in various states of decay, but basically, still in one piece. Here - the parts have been ripped off already and send to different shops (engines in one place, tranis in another, etc.). Whatever happened to good-old-fashioned ripping parts off cars by yourself with your own tools? Damn - that's half the fun. Amghara isn't fun for several other reasons - really icky, scary, bighairymen tops my list. Also because I have to drive to so many damn places to find different parts. It's stupid.

More caffine-induced thoughts: I think that some business-minded American accountant here should open up a tax service. I need help. So do many, many, many of my friends and colleagues. I can't count - how the hell do they expect me to do my own taxes?

3 day weekend - wooooo hoooo!!!!! I hope I have some fun. Of course, if I don't have fun, it will surely suck.

Barbecue Boy Out!

Press Release

This just in: Barbecue Boy Out!

"As of this morning, Barbecue Boy is officially out of my world." As Desert Girl stated in her press conference (of invisible friends) this afternoon, "I've had enough of Barbecue Boy. It wasn't just that he was callous, obnoxious, and annoying: He chose to tell my best friend, Naz, what was bothering him instead of discussing it with me directly. That is just so juvenile! "

Apparently upset by the sofa comment made by Desert Girl to Barbecue Boy on the issue of her dog (see previous posts), Barbecue Boy told reporters (Naz), "I hate dogs and I tried to play with her dog just to show her that I liked it. I put up with her dog just for her."

Barbecue Boy went on to tell reporters (Naz) several issues that bothered him in relation to the Desert Girl in question; issues that not even she was made aware of until related to her best friend.

Friends of Desert Girl were not immediately available for comment, although Naz summed up the situation stating, "I have to tell you - I saw with my own eyes how pushy he was."

The Desert Girl camp commented with their standard official response, "N E X T!"

- End -

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Back from Death's Door

I was SO sick. I had bronchitis and they gave me the same meds for pneumonia. They also use the antibiotics to treat skin problems (not that I really have any) and damn if my face doesn't look good! After 4 days of fever and coughing up stuff, I'm finally back at work and feeling better.

So, ya missed me, eh Don? :)

BB has been nice as of late, although he was driving me crazy with stupid questions. I'm hot/sweaty/sick and he kept asking, "What's wrong?" (clingy girlfriend). Hel-looooo, I'm DYING! I think I may have overly-insulted him yesterday (actually, I did not!). I told him that if I were one of his sisters, I would probalby be laying on the sofa shouting, "Whey! Whey! Whayn al khadamaaaaa! Jeebli my!" - but I don't get SQUAT - not even a healthy amount of sympathy.

I got no flowers, no chicken soup, no one who would go to the store and buy me orange juice. Oh, the neglect! Okay, realistically, none of my friends own cars right now (Mediagirl - you are off the hook because you no car and just got here!). I'm talking mainly about Bunny and Barbecue types. That is just pathetic.

Bunny - I am just about over that damn rabbit. We have been friends for 3 years, but he is pissing me off beyond all recognition. You expect people to remember you when you are sick - especially people who are close to you (or who pretend to be in this case). He couldn't even be bothered to call me for the past 3 days! Even my own mother asked me if he was coming to look after me. Our mutual friends can't believe it. Why the disappearing act when I need him the most? Looking back, he hasn't been there at times when I really have needed him. Why is that? Now he is back to old tricks - sending me SMS's in some jeuvenile attempt to make himself feel better. Get to hoppin!

I've decided to zap all comments in reference to religion and politics from my blog. My blog - my powers of zap-dom. Especially when it comes to 20-something fanatics who have read 2.4 books and believe they know it all. I don't give a rat's furry azz what you think I should do or believe, so there. ZAP ZAP!

Anybody know where the camel races are? Are they on the road to Kabd?

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Free Kuwait - Again, and Again and Again...

Kuwait is FINALLY free after approximately 25 years: taking into consideration the Iran/Iraq war and threats from all that; followed by the 1st Gulf War, then the Liberation of Iraq - threats from Saddam. Now that freedom is finally here, the economy is really getting back on track, and things are good for the general population, INTERNAL forces are threatening the peace. How sad is that?

Teach your kids. These are young guys. They've probably been brainwashed into believing that violence against innocent people as political targets will help their cause. It won't. It will only sicken good people with real religion. Kuwait is so small and everyone is related. If an act of terrorism does occur on Kuwaiti soil, most likely Kuwaitis will be hurt along with any westerners that may/may not be targeted. Kuwaiti extended families will be affected/injured as everyone is related to everyone here. Will this help accomplish anything? Violence only begets violence.

What I've been hearing from Kuwaiti friends for the past few days is that they are scared to go out to malls and restaurants. The Westerners, obviously, are staying close to home. It is a shame that the entire society has to suffer because of some nut cases. I'm glad that the MOI is using "zero tolerance". I'm sorry that innocent civilians are suffering, however.

My tonsillitis and medication is making me reflect on recent events. I'm sleepy and cranky, but DAMN - my voice sounds sexy! It is kind of like wearing stiletto heels - they hurt like hell, but DAMN they look good!

Barbecue Boy stopped by yesterday. He can't understand that I am SICK. "What's wrong with you?" Hellooooooo, I'm SICK. He really does have a good heart, when he's not insulting me and/or getting on my last nerve. I'm sure he would make the right woman very happy. I just happen to be the wrong woman. I have tried everything to discourage his affections: disgusting noises and/or conversation; letting him meet my friends and having them mess with him; making him do stuff for me that no normal man would do. He's passing all the tests that I would usually give a guy that I really care about. I think that if I'm bitchy enough and the guy is still around at the end of the testing period, then he's worthy. However, BB is passing all the tests and he is still on my nerves and there is no chemistry. All that clingy-ness is just a turn off. I mean, he left, then came back and knocked on the door TWICE to mention things he forgot/continue the conversation. I was so tired - I just wanted him out, so I could get some sleep.

Funny SMS:

The police are on the lookout for someone described
as gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, funny and amazing in bed.
You're safe, but where the F am I going to hide?

I'm so mad at Bunny that I am almost boycotting blog comments in reference to him. He has disappeared from the scene almost completely. He still hasn't made up for dissin' me on Christmas. We haven't even been out to dinner. I still haven't received my FRICKIN THOUGHTFUL Christmas and/or Eid gift(s). Naz' grandmother died the day-before-yesterday and Bunny didn't even send him a message to offer his condolences. We are all supposed to be friends. That is like SO ayeb! I'm beginning to think he is just a selfish jack-rabbit instead of a happy-go-lucky Bunny. Silly rabbit....

When is George Clooney going to realize that I'M the one and get his butt on a plane to Kuwait???

February 1: The countdown to my pathetic Valentine's Day begins....
February 13th - I discovered that the love of my life, Shamlan, died in Dubai.
February 13th - I got into a huge car accident on the Gulf Road 2 years ago.
I don't LIKE February 13th.
Now, February 14th, Valentine's Day, I like VERY much - if it is done properly, of course. If it isn't, it will surely suck.

Close to Home

My friend, Nita, was an eyewitness to the shootings. The Arab Times wrote about her on page 15 today. BTW, kudos, Arab Times - you guys got some wonderful pictures and stories. You go, Yawar. Now, if you only paid your writers/editors more money....

I called my friend, Hamani, this morning because I know he rents out furnished apartments in the building that was shot up yesterday. He said that 3 of his apartments were damaged by security guys breaking down doors and shooting out windows. Says I can get a discount on an apartment if I want one and that now - the security is much better. As if.

Today, they are shooting up Mubarak Al Kabeer.

It would be nice if the innocent families in the area had the opportunity to like - get out; especially the kids. I know that it is supposed to surprise the bad guys, but evactuation is always an option.

Well, they are for sure getting the bad guys (refer to Dead Guy picture on the front page of the Arab Times today).

I was probably all fired up yesterday because I was getting sick (and didn't know it). My frickin tonsilitus is back again today. Bummer. Oh well - maybe I'll lose weight. I don't feel good. I want my mommy.